Every day presents a wonderful opportunity. I know that now.
But for years, prior to sobriety, I convinced myself that life without drugs and alcohol would be lackluster at best and to give up either or both would mean an immediate forfeit of all things fun and exciting.
As if to say my life was fun and exciting.
I can’t produce a single photo album of places I traveled, hobbies I mastered, events I attended. There are none. So much for the life of fun I was desperately afraid to relinquish.
So, as a sober newbie, I didn’t attempt to do anything fun. In fact, my routine for months didn’t even change. Save the occasional AA mtg, I had absolutely nothing going on and life was lackluster just like I’d predicted it would be.
But I was grateful. I was so grateful to be sober that I didn’t care. And furthermore, I was willing to live with the punitive consequences of my poor decisions. I settled into the acceptance of all things tempered.
One Sunday, nine months into my sobriety, I was invited to play a round of golf. I panicked. I had always wanted to play golf, but had never been on a golf course. How was it going to be? What was I going to wear? Would I look silly and fat? How could I be in control doing something I’d never attempted? I’d have to converse with a person I hardly knew….what would we talk about? My mind raced ahead with the what ifs.
But I went, and had a ball. HA HA, had a ball.
A week or two later I was invited to share brunch at a French Cafe in Leucadia near the ocean. Again I panicked. I didn’t know how to be sober in a social setting and the intimacy of such a setting worried me. I ended up having the best espresso and condensed milk this side of Paris.
Then I began to workout on Sundays, drive up and down the coast on Sundays, attend puppy training classes on Sundays (yes I had purchased a puppy, but that was on a Saturday).
Some Sundays I had pancakes with my niece. I attended church. Window-shopped at the mall. I did fun day Sunday things!
The kicker came Superbowl Sunday, when I enjoyed family and friends, shared time in the kitchen and joined in wild, irreverent conversation. We debated topics like gluten-free communion wafers and the contents of a bratwurst. I didn’t even mind having my picture taken, and everyone knows how I hate to take pictures.
Yes, I’d have to say Superbowl Sunday was my best football holiday. And guess what?
Come Monday, I remembered who won.
Today’s Challenge: Do something fun and exciting.